Are Smartphones Disconnecting Us from Real-Life Connections?

Words by Noor Ehsan, Writer & Editor at Yondera

Smartphones: a 5-inch computer that fits neatly in your pocket, accessible to you at any point of the day, no matter where you are. A device that holds the power to grant you a conversation with anyone - anywhere on the globe - as long as you have Wifi or Data. Phones offer the ability to get everything we need by tapping a piece of glass the size of our hand: Google, YouTube, Twitter (X), Instagram, Amazon, Spotify, Netflix, TikTok. We were given the convenience of instant connection, but perhaps this has cost us our sense of community, humanity, social engagement, and the very qualities that make us personable.

We consume TikToks, Reels, and Stories at such frequency that if they fail to capture our attention in the first second, we discard them from our feed and mindlessly scroll on to the next. The oversaturated nature of social media apps means that we never need to be concerned about running out of visual stimuli to pass the time. Doomscrolling has become second nature to most of us - it doesn’t matter the age, gender, language, or ability. I’ve seen my first-generation immigrant grandparents fall victim to this inescapable activity: sitting on the sofa, disconnected from conversation, double-tapping and scrolling through videos until something finally snaps them out of it. Screen addiction, particularly in the form of smartphones, pervades countries, communities, and cultures without boundaries, precisely because it can be used so easily by anyone. 

I believe that we were never meant to be this connected to our phones - at least, not in this way. Using them to call your friends, relay information quickly, or maintain relationships - maybe. But were we meant to hear someone’s unfiltered opinion every time we opened our phones? To consume this much media, every day, constantly? It would be naïve to think that this level of heightened media consumption won’t alter our minds and our outlook on connections with those we care about - including ourselves. 

Our blistering media consumption has given rise to a by-product of screen addiction: damaged attention spans. Social media videos appease us through instant gratification. Many of us even watch videos at 2x speed, simply because our minds have grown accustomed to the instantaneous dopamine hit that online content delivers in a matter of seconds, never mind minutes. Take films, for example. In the early 2000s, I remember watching movies that ran over two hours long, whereas today it’s rare to find a movie that lasts more than ninety minutes. I can’t help but wonder if the shortening of film length is Hollywood catering to the audience’s shrinking attention spans. Even studying, how many times have you sat down to get a few hours' work done, but seem to find yourself taking at least half an hour to finally get off your phone and do something? Now, that could just be typical uni-student procrastination - and I would know, I was once #1 at pulling all-nighters due to procrastinating too hard - but surely the temptation of a mini-computer in our hands comes into play, too. Put simply, our phones are damaging us far too easily.

Whilst the digital age has granted us countless methods to stay in contact, it is fair to assess the consequences of it as propelling the loss of real human connection. For some, sending a TikTok or an Instagram meme every few weeks is considered as ‘staying in touch.’ Even dating has become so online that it seems fanciful to expect an organic interaction without the intentional use of apps to manufacture it. People have become so used to talking behind a screen that I think we have forgotten what staying connected actually looks like.

People are where we get our power from, and face-to-face interaction is fundamental to the human experience. Building relationships with those around us is crucial, getting off our phones, and back to life, back to reality (thank you Soul II Soul). Yes, your phone can help you maintain contact with people when you’re not near them, and can help you decompress at times, but it should never be used as a substitute for in-person interaction. 

Let’s be honest, I know when you look at your screentime, you’re a little embarrassed: how have I spent that many hours of my day on my phone? It’s okay, maybe that small reality check is what we need. Maybe we’re a bit too plugged in, and we need to unplug a little. 

Unplugging doesn’t necessarily mean disconnecting. Phones are important; the world has adapted to people being accessible via their phones, I get it. No one is saying abandon ship, just don’t drown in it. Instead of slumping on the sofa and only moving your thumb to swipe to the next video, decompress by finding a willow tree to sit under, take your shoes off, and feel the grass beneath you. Stretch, have a warm drink, sit by a body of water, experiment with a new dinner recipe tonight, and invite your friend over that you’ve been meaning to see for what seems like forever. Stay connected with your body, with who you are, with the people you love, and find something that sparks your interests… You might find yourself happier than usual.

True conversation builds bridges to people’s minds and souls, invites understanding, strengthens relationships, and meets the needs of our hearts. Social engagement isn’t something that is measured with stats on your social media posts; it’s real contact with others, a room full of your closest friends, feeling the presence of those who truly know you, and those who want to, as you get to know yourself. Smartphones were implemented to connect us, but how often do we feel more isolated than ever as we're compelled to stay attached to our phones, rather than the people on the other end of them?

Maybe my mum was right, maybe it really is that damn phone. 

Photography by Noor Ehsan